Sasha's Tea Room

Dancing With The Soul Tribe

The belief in soul tribe is one that puts forth the notion that we are reconnected in this lifetime with various "soul friends" if you will, from past lives. They are from our spiritual world and we run into them in this lifetime in order to remind us of things we may have forgotten while bound by this human uniform. They come to us in all forms: pets, friends, lovers. The lovers come to us with reminders of the hardest of lessons we chose to face during this path, while the rest of the "family" pops in to keep you sane as you follow your earthly path. These family members, in charge of your sanity check, are your kindred spirits. For the most part, the dance with them is smooth and rhythmic like a graceful waltz with only an occasional misstep, as opposed to the dance of the soul mate, which is rather like the 1970's dance floor gyration called "The Bump." The Bump has an air of seduction and underlying potential, yet one full swing of the hip will set a person flying to the ground. It's much easier to waltz, yet the allure of the disco ball has you dusting yourself off and hoping your partner will return to help you up. If they don't arrive right away due to unforeseen circumstances, (like the need to freshen their breath, tie their shoes and comb their hair before spinning you around again), your kindred spirits come to lend you a hand so you can continue to dance. If they accidentally step on your toe try to forgive them as they are pretty old friends of yours. And as for the soul mate, some song lyrics do come to mind" Well, shake it up, baby, now, (shake it up, baby)
Twist and shout. (twist and shout)
Cmon cmon, cmon, cmon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and work it on out."

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The Soul Mate Connection

When asked to do readings for people I would have to say that the vast majority

of the questions are on relationship concerns.

One of the most frequently asked questions are about the soul mate connection.

The soul mate connection is a wonderful connection

yet it most often a difficult one, at least in the beginning.

It amuses me when I see advertisements about finding your “soul mate”.

The ads make it appear as if this is the fairy tale match of your lifetime

“The perfect man/woman to meet your every romantic desire”.

Is there really such a thing? Well, I’d have to say yes and no.

A soul mate relationship is a very special connection unlike any other.

What characterizes a soul mate relationship?

How do you know you are in one? Here are a few clues:

Do you and this other person often have a “mind meld”

where you are both thinking the same thing at the same time?

Do you find that you have so much in common with each other?

The more you get to know them, the scarier it becomes

in how they can read your mind.

You feel so at home with them because they are your other half.

Is this a relationship that you just can’t seem to walk away from

no matter how frustrating it gets?

For some reason your heart won’t let you forget and move on.

It’s actually your soul that won’t allow it.

When you are with the other, do you feel the lightness from your soul?

You may say “there’s just something about him/her

that I can’t put my finger on it’s just there and it feels good.”

It’s your soul feeling the joy of finding its mate from the previous journey

you’ve had together. It’s an internal smile!

Is there often conflict and frustration between you?

Soul mates were brought together for a reason.

Each is brought to the other to teach them a lesson in this life

and it is for this reason there is often conflict between you.

This can be a lesson about unconditional love, patience, acceptance etc.

This should not be mistaken for abusive, co dependent,

or other toxic relationships that people can find themselves in.

In soul relationships there is conflict in the sense of a push pull

way of thinking but underneath the love and respect are there always.

You are being challenged in the way you think about

things but you are not belittled or abused in any way.

The intense feelings that arise from this type of connection

are often frightening to a person who” thinks”

rather than allows themselves to “feel’.

When this happens, that person will often back away thus causing

the other onemuch confusion and hurt.

It takes a lot of patience to understand the other person’s fear

and wait for their return.

Finally, I am often asked, “is it always going to be this hard’?

The answer is no.

Once both parties have dealt with their feelings

and come together, the joy of the soul will outweigh any residual conflicts

that are part of the learning process they must go through together,

and the partnership will not only grow and flourish,

but get more joyful each day. If you find yourself involved

in a soul connected relationship,

hang on with all you’ve got it will be well worth it in the end.

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Imagine the Power of Love

Universal loving and kindness begins with you.

“Metta” is a concept taken from Buddhist text that is

the practice of universal loving kindness.

It is the strong wish for the welfare and happiness of others

where you open your heart and are willing to give to others

and never want anything in return.

Often times when we are involved in relationships we feel they should be

about give and take.

Some of my clients will come to me very frustrated about their relationships

telling me that they have been doing all of the work with nothing being given in return.

I understand how hard it can be to feel you are bearing the burden of a relationship

but perhaps that is the problem. The burden.

Metta shows us that giving is not a burden but a joy

where there is no expectation. When we can release expectation,

we also release judgment of another. We enjoy them for who they are.

In life, in love, we make choices.

We can choose to give because of the connection we feel,

the love we have for another or we can choose to stop.

Love should not be a barter system. “If I give this what do I get in return”

is not a good basis for a relationship.

Why not instead embrace the idea that “I give because I love”?

When we release expectations we can go with the ebbs and flows

that are inherent to any relationship. Releasing expectations is about having

faith and trust in yourself .

When you accept and love yourself you can accept and choose to

give to others without worrying

about what you will get in return.

In a universe where the law of attraction exists,

only good will vibrate back to you if you send out the love.

Once we are able to master the concept of loving ourselves,

and then giving that love to another , we will be able to practice universal love.

Universal love embraces the concept of the

“inherent worth and dignity of every human being.”

Once we have this concept and can put it into practice

how long could it take before we can find world peace?

John Lennon seems to have gotten the concept of metta

and wrote it so beautifully in his song “Mind Games"

We're playing those mind games together
Pushing the barriers, planting seeds
Playing the mind guerrilla
Chanting the mantra, peace on earth
We all been playing those mind games forever
Some kinda druid dudes lifting the veil
Doing the mind guerrilla
Some call it magic, the search for the grail

Love is the answer and you know that for sure
Love is a flower, you got to let it, you got to let it grow

            So keep on playing those mind games together
            Faith in the future, outta the now
            You just can't beat on those mind guerrillas
            Absolute elsewhere in the stones of your mind

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Can Giving Too Much Be Selfish?

I have spoken before about the concept of "metta" which is practicing

unconditional love. This means we give without expectations

Giving in itself is the reward. When it comes to relationships

the concept of give and take

comes into play and most times this is about a subtle form of

manipulation. Here's how it works. You contact the

other and now you wait until they contact you. Once they do

then the ball is back in your court and on it goes.

Sound familiar? Has someone written to you or called you

and now you haven't heard from them in a few days?

Chances are they are waiting for you to initiate the call.

It's your turn. The game is on and you are likely being manipulated.

They will wait you out until you get the message that it's your turn.

Relationships are not games. They are interactions

between two people who desire an honest level of communication.

It's not about being "trained" to act in a certain

manner. So many of my clients will tell me that he hasn't called in x amount

of time. My response is always the question,

"have you thought of calling him?" Again, this is about trying to establish

honest communication between two people.

Trying to control the flow of a relationship from the beginning will likely

lead to more controlling behavior down the line.

You are being given the message that if you don't act a certain way you

will be punished. The controller will have a way

of letting you know that your behavior is not acceptable. It becomes more

of a parent/child thing than an adult

relationship. This in time becomes stifling because it's not about love,

it's about control. For a relationship to flow

properly, each must be allowed their uniqueness which includes the

freedom to express themselves their way,

and in their own time. So, the decision involves whether you can accept

their uniqueness. You cannot take the stance

that you will "for now" in hopes that things will change. It's not our job

to change someone else.

It's wise when it comes to relationships to leave out the score cards

and forget about math. Look beneath the surface.

How does being with them fulfill you? If you are getting no fulfillment

from the other then it may be time to step back,

because at a point, giving without receiving becomes a subtle form of

controlling (even though the intent is not there)

behavior. I'm sure that statement comes as a surprise to many. The givers

out there are saying "no way, I act from love"

I understand that the selfless intention is there, but at a point too much giving

becomes pressure on someone who is

only prepared to receive so much. They may appreciate all that you do,

but doing too much can actually be a burden.

At that point you are being selfish. The expression, "your kindness is overwhelming"

comes to mind. There reaches a

point when it is self serving. If you love the other person you will be able to take

the step back. By doing so you release

them from the pressure you have created, thus giving them the freedom to be

who they are. If someone wants to share

their lives with you they will. It's as simple as that. There are no guarantees.

Love after all, is freedom.

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Soul Passion

I was thinking about what it is that drives the soul connection. It's quite simply, the same passion.

They were both artists and therefore on a soul level, understood each other and what truly moved them.

There would be nothing to really explain to the other about what drives them in their passion as they

are on the same path soul wise. That is not to say that there would be no friction between soul mates

as each person has their own unique personality. The connection runs deeper than personality.

Soul recognition is not the same as romantic love. Most always, the feeling around the soul partner

is an uneasy one. You may feel nervous and yet very curious. The unsettling part of this feeling is

caused by the recognition (on a soul level) that this person is somehow going to change your life

and therefore create some kind of upheaval for you. So, often times there is an initial curiosity

about this person standing before you and words between you can be difficult. So many of my

clients have coined the phrase "there is just something about him" They will never be able to

explain to me what the soul feels and knows about the other and there is no need to really.

They just know they have the recognition. The problem comes when the one partner in the soul

connection chooses to remain grounded in the material plane and run from the soul connection,

often times seeking out a lower life path person or a person who's spirituality is quite basic.

Conversely, there are people who are with a spiritually basic person and they themselves are

awakened one day to their deeper spirituality and find that they are quite mismatched in the

partnership. These people will seek out their soul partner without fear of the connection.

Artistic types of people will gravitate towards each other because they are as a group,

more spiritually developed and aware. They are the seekers of a different truth, restless,

wandering, questioning. Artistic expression is the way of the soul. The more basic souls,

who have not yet developed the depth of spirituality, will gravitate towards more black

and white professions and ways of living where things are more absolute. These people

thrive on empirical evidence. They are the "prove it to me people." Scientists, computer

people, engineers, technical fields. The spiritually aware people are the artists, the musicians,

the psychologists, the psychics, the philosophers etc. It's not a question of one type being

better than another. Where would we be without the scientists, engineers and other technicians?

What would our world look like without the artists and the beauty they add to the world?

At first glance opposites attract. They are fascinated by the other's different approach to life

as it is so different from there own and as I said above, the "runner" in a soul connection will

find comfort in the black and white because they don't want to "deal" with their spirituality and

soul longing. Eventually though, something will be lacking in the relationship because from the

beginning it always was lacking. Does this mean that the "runner" will "come to their senses"?

I actually cringe when a person asks me this in a reading because I always like to empower

people but to be honest, my answer is no. No one has to come to their senses, they know

already, and yet they have chosen the path they are on. As I always say to my clients,

there is nothing you can do to change another person or the path they choose. A person

has no control over another. Each of us chooses who they want to be with or in many cases not

be with because in reality there are no obstacles that can't be overcome if people really want to

be together. The "lazy" of spirit will choose the easy, more ego based path. I do label them "lazy"

because in reality the high life path people ( 8's and 9's) who are aware of their spirituality, know

what will feed their soul, yet choose what they feel will be easy instead. The use of "lazy" is a fact,

not a judgment.

Finally, for the one who is dealing with the soul mate on the run, what can they do?

Well, they can live the joy of their lives of course! Spiritually developing people will naturally

draw other souls to them that will enrich their lives. Soul friends will be drawn to you.

Although not a romantic relationship like that of the soul mate, the soul friend is a wonderful

relationship to have because it is a comfortable, easy, natural and fulfilling friendship.

There are soul pets as well. These little souls understand and bond with you even more closely

than other pets. As far as romance goes, well, although we have many soul mates out there

(based on the theory that we have lived many previous lives) I am not sure just how many live

right in your same town. So I would have to say that you may have to let that notion go of

meeting yet another one but anything is possible there are no absolutes. I might recommend

having a relationship with yourself and enjoying the wonderfulness (my word) that is YOU.

When you really believe in yourself and you become comfortable with you, you can withstand

anything that comes your way. Allow your inner light to shine you will attract people to you

and who knows, maybe you will let one in someday.

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Mantra of The Soul Runner

I have been mesmerized by the lyrics to "Across The Universe". It hit me that this too is a bit of a soul song. This song is reflective of the partner who flat out refuses to acknowledge the connection with the other, but rather chooses to turn his back on it. Resignation being easier than action.

"Sounds of laughter shades of life are ringing
Through my opened ears inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying Love which shines around me like a
million suns, It calls me on and on
Across the universe
Jai guru deva, om,
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world.
Nothing's gonna change my world."

All around him is the invitation of undying love calling, yet you can almost picture this person with his hands over his ears, turning his back on the beauty of the starry universe before him inviting him on to a better life. All the while he chants "nothing's gonna change my world" in a child like refusal to accept a gift of the universe, in this case, a soul connection. He would rather be left alone in his solitude or even worse, settling for far less and all because it's too hard to reach out for it. It's much easier for some to let ego rule than to join up with the intellectual, spiritual equal. The “perky cheerleader” on the sidelines is attractive to the ego based person. The one who is looking for substance in a relationship, would prefer to be with the team mate in the huddle next to him playing hard. It is they who truly understand the game and can appreciate the fight to victory. The cheerleader is merely a hapless onlooker. Unfortunately many will choose to spend their lives pursuing the cheerleader rather than befriending their team mate. Nothing is going to change their world unless they want it to and no amount of outpouring of love, support and willingness to reconnect with this runner is going to matter. Once again, as the Beatles lyrics say, “in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make”

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Mantra of The One Waiting For The Return of the Soul Mate

If "Across The Universe" is the mantra for the runner in the soul mate connection then "Hope of Deliverance" is it's counterpart.

;

I will always be hoping, hoping.

You will always be holding, holding
My heart in your hand. I will understand.

I will understand someday, one day.
You will understand always,
Always from now until then.

When it will be right, I dont know.
What it will be like, I dont know.
We live in hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us.

Hope of deliverance, hope of deliverance.
Hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us.

And I wouldnt mind knowing, knowing
That you wouldnt mind going, going along with my plan.

When it will be right, I dont know.
What it will be like, I dont know.
We live in hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us.

Hope of deliverance, hope of deliverance.
Hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us.

Hope of deliverance, hope of deliverance.
Hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us.

Hope of deliverance, hope of deliverance.
Hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us.

Hope of deliverance, hope of deliverance.
Hope of deliverance from the darkness that surrounds us.

In a soul connection the "connection" is always there so the only thing needed is for there to be a re- establishment of the friendship which leaves the one who waits wondering if and when this will occur as the control over this matter is up to the runner. There is always hope that the runner will trip on his untied shoe laces and when he takes the fall, the bang on the head will cause him to have an "aha" moment. Or he could blame you for falling and there you are at square one. I guess the runner never worries about the possibility that the one waiting will continue to wait indefinitely. Not everyone is like Paul McCartney who claims in his song "I Will", that he would wait a lonely lifetime. Some of us don't have forever! LOL

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