Sasha's Tea Room

This time of year just before Valentine's Day is a very stressful timefor people who are struggling with the romantic relationships in theirlives. Good communication is key to maintaining and developing goodrelationships whether they are romantic by nature or not. When I readthis article from Daily Om I thought it made perfect sense in pointingout how to improve communication between people.

Daily OM:

Communication

Centering and Expressing

Expressing ourselves honestly from a centered place is essential to our sense of well-being.

Whenwe are in a relationship where we feel listened to and understood, wecount ourselves lucky because we know how rare that experience is. Wereserve our most intimate selves for the people who, along with us,cocreate an open space where we feel free to express ourselves andlisten without judgment. These relationships, which thrive on opencommunication, can mean the difference between existential lonelinessand a deep sense of belonging. We all long to feel heard, understood,and loved, and clear communication makes this possible.

Sometimesproblems arise in the process of expressing how we feel, but it isalways worth it to do the work. Even in our less intimaterelationships, expressing ourselves honestly is essential to our senseof well-being. Whether at home with family or in the outside world,successful communication requires some forethought; otherwise we riskblundering through our relationships like the proverbial bull in achina shop. However, too much forethought can stifle us or cause us topad our words so extremely that we end up saying nothing at all orconfusing the matter further. The good news is that there are manymethods that can come to our rescue, from meditation to visualizationto journaling.

If the person we need to communicate with is opento sitting in meditation together for a set period of time beforespeaking, this can be invaluable. When we are calm and centered, we cancount on ourselves to speak and respond truthfully. We can alsomeditate on our own time and then practice what we need to say. Avisualization in which we sit with the person and lovingly exchange afew words can also be a great precedent to an actual conversation. Ifwriting comes easily, we can write out what we need to say; it may takeseveral drafts, but we will eventually find the words. The key is tofind ways to center ourselves so that we communicate meaningfully,lovingly, and wisely. In this way, we honor our companions and createrelationships in which there is a genuine sense of understanding andrespect. 

A lot of peoplehave been grumbling about 2009 wishing it well on its way. It has been a toughyear for many people. Within my circle of friends it seems that no one wasuntouched by some sort of extreme tension this past year. I would have toconcur with the general consensus having had a bit of a challenging yearmyself. However, as with all things in my life I prefer to think about all thepositives that this past year has brought. I was able to spend the majority ofthe year living with a close friend of mine. While living with anyone has itsups and downs I don’t feel there is any greater joy than being able to sharetime with a like minded person, even if what most of what you do is mundane.When done with a special friend, the mundane can be magical. I was alsofortunate to have met some new friends this year due mostly in part from a newspiritual group I have gotten involved with. This group has enriched my life byturning me toward some new possibilities to explore on my spiritual path. In thelast three months of the year, my business has been growing enough to besetting records. The change in my business has enabled me to move forward in mycareer by investing in some additional training that will shift my work path abit. I am now in a six month training program to become a Life Coach. Itoccurred to me a while ago that my tarot readings were often times turning intocoaching sessions once I had completed the tarot portion. I feel that someadditional training in this area will help me make what I’ve already been doing“official” and at the same time help me to grow my business and also todiversify it a bit.

In the end it was really the economy that brought most ofthe stress to the country as a whole with the continuing downward spiral, butas the year comes to a close there are more and more glimmers of light. As 2009says goodbye it send us on our way to the New Year in glorious fashion with abeautiful full moon in the sky, our second this month, making it a Blue Moon.As I stand amidst the crowds in downtown Denver watching the sky light up withsparkling fireworks I will bid a fond goodbye to 2009 saying thanks for themoments that brought me such joy and thanks for the chance to grow, to learnand be strong. My soul can’t think of a better gift. 

As we approach the full Moon of January in the emotionally oriented sign of Cancer, it's a good time to reflect on the important relationships in your life both friendship and romance .  I found this piece from Daily Om and thought I'd pass it on as food for thought this month.

FROM DAILY OM
Relationships

You may find that you are set in your ways when disagreements arise in your close relationships. Close relationships are often maintained by a give and take, which can be difficult if one is not willing to compromise. If one partner always finds themselves giving in, they may soon recognize the imbalance and seek a more willing partner. This is not to say that you need to change your views, but you could either allow that the other person may also be right or explain why you feel the way you do. Communication is key, and if you care about your partner and their welfare you will be willing to do what is necessary to show you care.

Being obstinate may be a defense mechanism we adopted long ago that no longer serves us. By being willing to look more deeply into ourselves and our motivations, we may be able to find the key to working with our partners more closely. You may find that the need to be right is less important than having a harmonious relationship. Go within to consider the disagreement and your choices in the light of your heart, mind, and intuition. By rising above your emotions, you may be able to act from your higher self, creating a stronger bond with those you love. Be willing to examine your actions and move from being uncompromising to understanding.

This is an article from the Daily Motivator  that I wanted to share. It's good to be able to be comfortable with who you are worts and all. Sometimes it's hard to do in the face of the criticisms of others who feel we should be just like them. Well, how boring would that be if we are all alike? I wish we could learn to celebrate the differences in each other and I feel we can, once we celebrate what makes us unique!

Authentic
+++++++++++++++++++

There is great power in truth. There is great power in
authenticity.

It can be comforting for a while to overlook or deny who you
truly are, in order to go along with the crowd. Yet it is a
false comfort that never does last.

There is no person you can pretend to be who is as powerful
and effective as the person you really are. No identity you
might try to manufacture will ever work as well as the
identity that has always been a part of you.

With authenticity, no effort is needed to maintain your
sense of self. It flows easily and naturally through
everything you do, freeing you and enabling you to live life
fully.

You are real and you are unique and you are of great value.
It is in your best interest to mine the magnificent treasure
of the authentic you.

Do not merely go along with life. Be authentic, and you will
make it great.

Ralph Marston

As the one year anniversary of my cat Bootsy approaches I am struggling with an onslaught of sadness. He died on Cinco De Mayo of all things, but in reality any day someone dies is forever ingrained in your memory. This little guy was so special. He loved me from the minute he laid eyes on me and held on as tight to me on our last ride together as he did the first time I carried him to my car 19 years ago.. The day he died was a stormy day. There was a break in the clouds and the sun shone thru when his soul was released. I thought I had released the sadness months ago but it has been creeping up for over a week now. Admittedly I am slow to heal from the loss of my pets. I lost Bootsy a year and a half after my beloved Muffin. Both of these soul friends were with me many years. Muffin for just about 20 and Bootsy for 18. I know I am blesssed to be able to have shared so many years with them, yet still I miss them both very much. In our society people often discount any prolonged mourning for a pet which is unfortunate. For that matter, our society discourages prolonged mourning for any lost person. The mentality here in our country is to pick yourself up, get out there, and put it behind you. In reality each person must mourn at their own pace and honor the process of  grief fully so that time can heal the hurt. We honor all of those who were dear to us who have passed on by fully embracing our lives, opening our hearts, jumping into new things with both feet and leaving fear behind. Bootsy feared nothing and liked everyone he met. What a great role model he was! He was a very quiet cat, never talking but always observing. It's nice to know our loved ones will live on for as long as we are here to remember them.

I LOVE when strange things happen to me. These strange things are called "signs"! I went with a friend of mine to see a play this past week. I always enjoy the way our theater group here does Shakespeare. This year it was the "Merry Wives of Windsor" set in the 1920?s. We got to the theater early so we decided to have a drink. I ordered my drink and as the bartender was handing me my drink she started singing to me "All you need is love, all you need is love, love, love is all you need." I about spilled my drink. What fun though! This has never happened to me before. I have never been seranaded by a bartender male or female. Even my girlfriend who is not into signs enjoyed the moment. I was so caught up in the moment I didn?t even have a witty comeback I just tipped her and smiled. Is it really as simple as these lyrics that were sung to me by a bartender on a warm spring night? Open your heart up, listen and be prepared to embrace in love and forgiveness. 

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There?s nothing you can do that can?t be done.
Nothing you can sing that can?t be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It?s easy.
There?s nothing you can make that can?t be made.
No one you can save that can?t be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It?s easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There?s nothing you can know that isn?t known.
Nothing you can see that isn?t shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn?t where you?re meant to be.
It?s easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
                                                 The Beatles